10 Super Exciting Adoption Positives

  Posted on February 20, 2015 By

 42 Comments

I have focused so much on all our big decisions, fears, frustrations and stress surrounding adoption lately, so today I want to share some of the things about adoption that I am incredibly excited about. First, I need to acknowledge that this list all about me and Mr. MPB. It is a completely selfish and a somewhat silly list. I promise, I will talk about all the adoption positive for others involved in adoption at a later date.  And I have no doubt I will also talk about more frustrations and annoyances too as we continue to work our way through the process.

  1. Providing a loving and safe home and family to a child(ren). We are not going into adoption with the attitude of trying to save the world, but it is pretty awesome knowing that we will get to raise a child who needed us, just as much as we needed them.
  2. I will not have to lose pregnancy weight. While I am still dealing with the physical effects of 5 miscarriages in 2.5 years and no exercise through most of it, it’s not the same as having to lose 20-30 (or more) pounds.
  3. I won’t have to recovery from pregnancy, while trying to handle our first child. I get to skip all that, and just go straight into being a mother. Sure, I still won’t get to sleep through the night, but I will get to feel healthy from the very first moment that our child arrives in our arms.
  4. The traits we never wanted to pass onto our children (i.e. my bad eye sight, my uncooperative complexion, etc.) will be gone. (This one has some mixed emotions attached to it, but since I’m only focusing on the positive today I will leave it at this).
  5. MPB will be just as important in the child’s life as I will be. In addition to all the parenting stuff like changing diapers, Mr. MPB will be an equal partner in feeding our child. We will both be equally critical to our child, and so we will truly be parenting together.
  6. While we work our way through the adoption process, we are living again. I can have a glass of wine when I want to, we are exercising 5-6 times a week, we are planning weekend getaways whenever we want, etc. We are enjoying our freedom and childfree status while we can, because we know at some point soon enough our lives will be dictated by the needs of a little person.
  7. We get to focus on hope. Even on days when the process is wearing on us, we always see the light at the end of the tunnel! After so many losses and struggles, knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel is incredibly refreshing.
  8. Because we have chosen open adoption, our child will be surrounded by love. They will know our love, the love of their birth parents and potentially even their extended birth family.
  9. We get to create our own family story. When you have children the normal way, your family story is normal. And one of the biggest bonuses about people not understanding adoption is that we get to dictate our family story as we explain adoption. Once this was pointed out to me, I started to get really excited about all the possibilities because I’m never one to do things the traditional way!!
  10. Our baby! We will get our child(ren) and our family! (This might be similar to number one, but I think it’s worth mentioning again).
Photo Source: Adapted from Office.com Clip Art

Photo Source: Adapted from Office.com Clip Art

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 Category: Adoption      Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

42 Comments on “10 Super Exciting Adoption Positives”

  1. I love, love, love this. What a beautifully optimistic (and accurate!) picture you paint. Excited for your days to come! I know many families who have adopted and cannot imagine their lives without their children. So great to know God is hand-picking you for one another! What an amazing gift you will give your baby by choosing him/her!

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  2. Oh my goodness!!! I LOVE this post! And totally agree…except for the weight part…I totally have a good 30-40lbs I need to lose right now. Apparently emotional eating and no exercise for a year will cause you to gain 25lbs…who knew? 😉 So excited to be on this journey with you!

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  3. This was so refreshing to read! I am so glad you are making a “positive list” (as opposed to my “negative lists” I have blogged about)…it’s so inspiring for me to read these things and get excited for myself in the same ways. What a wonderful journey this will be! Hugs!

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    • I am so happy that this is helping you get excited! I find with all the steps to adoption, there are so many things that cause annoyance and frustration. And honestly those crappier things often cloud my thoughts and sometimes I forget why we are actually doing this! Happy lists always tend to make me see the bigger picture and feel better. Love to you!

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    • Thank you! I wrote this as a reminder to myself that there are so many positive parts to adopting and the frustrations of the process simply cannot outweigh all the positives! 🙂

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  7. Haha… I seriously love #9. It’s one of the things I love about being the lesbian couple with a sperm donor who did IVF. Nothing normal about this family, either! In high school when I had my first car, I used to have a license plate frame that said, “Normal people worry me.” 🙂

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    • It was actually a homosexual couple we’ve met through our local adoption community who pointed this out to us – they said to just embrace our lack of normality and make it what we want, rather then viewing It as a hindrance and a holding onto the hurt associated with not being normal. It was like a light bulb went off in my mind the second they said it!
      I am loving the new friends we are making too – that should actually be item 11 on the list. 🙂

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  8. I love this list. One of my friends who birthed two kids and then adopted #3 said that when they were driving home with #3 in the car seat she thought, “man, I feel fantastic! I’m not bleeding, exhausted, cramping…why didn’t we do this every time??” There are certainly a lot of benefits to adopting!!

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    • Oh and teeth and braces are so expensive! I really hope you don’t pass them on so you don’t have to pay to fix them! 🙂
      (I have horribly expensive teeth too – I love them now, but they sure aren’t cheap).

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  10. I love, love, love this list and totally not selfish at all!!! I am so excited for you and I just can’t wait to watch as this ah-may-zing story of how the perfect child that is awaiting you, comes into your home. He/she will be so loved and have some awesome parents! Love ya girl! xo

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  11. Your list is awesome. They are similar to my mental lists of “pros” to being a non-gestational mother (back when we were planning on DW carrying). My favourite is how you will be fit and healthy when you receive your bab(ies). I think that is going to be a godsend. When I was growing up, I had a couple of friends who were adopted, and the general feeling amongst my classmates was “He/She must be really loved. They must be special, if their parents went to that extent to get them.” One of my closest friends is adopted, and since she has no idea who her birth parents are, she likes to create stories about where she came from. It’s really beautiful. I know you’ve opted for an open adoption, which is awesome too because more support can be really valuable.

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    • After how unhealthy I’ve felt for the last few years, I am really excited to feel healthy now and when our bab(ies) arrive in our arms! I think that might be one of the best parts of adoption!
      And thank you for sharing the feelings of love your adopted friends experience(d). I really hope that we are able to show our child that adoption does not mean they weren’t loved, rather it means that they are so incredibly loved that everyone involved in their lives have come together to ensure that they feel loved every single moment of every single day. And we really hope we are able to make their story a story of happiness.

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  12. I love this! So happy to see you excited about everything and not stressed out at the moment! Hooray for growing families without having any physical repercussions lol!!

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  14. I actually really needed to hear this today. I’ve been down lately and starting to question everything. I’m starting to slip back into being bitter. This helped me today. Thank you

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    • Honestly, I wrote it largely because lately I’ve been feeling so beaten down and frustrated by the adoption stuff, I needed to remind myself of some of the good stuff that adoption means to us. I am so glad this was able to help you today!
      Love to you, I do believe this will eventually get easier for both of us.

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  16. So many positives. These are all things to look forward to! I’m sorry I’ve been away, I will be more present and I’m excited to follow your progress!

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    • Thanks, you are right, they are all things to look forward to!
      P.S. I love when you post and comment, but seriously don’t worry about not being more present – I get it, you are busy and that’s awesome. 🙂

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  17. I love this! I worked as an Adoption Social Worker for years. I hope we can adopt ourselves someday. Am wishing you and your family all the best.

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  18. Loved reading the positives about adoption since I have a desire to do it in the future, even if we are finally able to have one of our own child. Best wishes in the adoption process!

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